Pocket Reference: Super Edition

Zellers is dirty, don't go there

2009-05-10T06:52:00.000-07:00

I'm experiencing quite a bit of boredness right now. Not to much going on. Just killing time before I have to go to...ugh...Zellers. Remind me to work on my resume sometime, blog viewers who don't actually exist. It would be a great help.

Panda Farms rocking their first offish show on sats, should be good. And after that were playing pretty often. I think we have like 10 shows so far this summer, which is pretty solid. We just need to practise more. I think were doing band photos today, which is pretty a lame idea in itself, but I am pretty stoked, not gonna lie. I think were taking them at the playgound, so it should be pretty funny. I hope atleast, or else it's gonna be weird...

Ugh I have to work in an hour, what a waste of time. Going to zellers for 4 and a half hours on a sunday is not my idea of logic. I make like minimum wage. I'm going to make like 30$ for wasting the better part of a day, on a job that I don't like at all. But it's better than nothing I suppose, not by a lot, but better nonetheless. I think I'm going to apply at the new starbucks for the summer, that would be dandy. Just dandy. And maybe a call centre. I think that would be suffice. If I get the job at starbucks, I hope to God that I can get a transfer to one close to uni so I can get free coffee all next year. YESSSSS. That was bliss, just thinking about it. BLISS I SAY.

Oh, and to make this post relevant to the title that I just randomly gave it based on my feelings at the time and not actually what I was going to wirte at all. I found like 10 mice/rats feasting on some spily coke and running all over the food yesterday in the stockroom. It was gross. I peeled out in fear of getting some sort of rat disease. Oh well, they probably just hid in the patio set boxes.

KiIlin' time

2009-05-02T20:44:00.000-07:00

Zellers is putting a damper on my fun. It's not even remotely enjoyable anymore. I need a new job. Pronto.

I'm listening to Today I Caught The Plague right now, and I'm very pleased. I"m in like chill mode. I just sat and looked at the inconsistency of colors in my jeans, for like a minute straight. It was sweet. Normally, a minute wouldn't be a very long time. Like if I were to say "I went log rolling, for a minute", you would more than likely call me a nancy, because only nancies log roll for a minute, it's just not enough. But, in the context of staring at ones pants, a minute may just be too long. A book can be read for well over three hours, but if a film is longer than that, it just gets "drawn out" and boring. Who makes these constraints? Who ever it is, they're dumb. Same as eating at the times I'm supposed to eat. What kind of garbage is that? God forbid if we have lunch after 11. Brunch is for douchbags. And Britain. I don't want to eat supper at 5-6. Thats a stupid idea. I eat supper at 9, just to prove a point. I don't go to bed at 10, or wake up at 8. I don't get the "reccomnded" 9.25 hours of sleep. I don't live to please people and I hate walmart.

I'm getting bitter. I'm going to stare at my pants. Peace and love, chillun'

New shades on the b-rain

2009-04-23T15:44:00.000-07:00

I've had this undeniable urge to draw a giraffe the past few days. It's very odd. I can't say it's ever happened before. What an odd phenom.

Speaking of drawing. Guess who's making a linoleum print of Barack Obama. If you guessed not me, you are totally wrong. I'm stoked. I'm going to put shutters on him I think, because it will be hilarious.

I'm going to order a new pair of shutters right now I think. These ones http://shuttershadesonline.com/3d.html

Time, and it's irrelevancies to my life

2009-04-20T14:10:00.000-07:00

I just finished Rant by Chuck Palahniuk, and it was SO good. The end of it was retarded. It definitely got me thinking. Gave me a whole new perspective. I honestly, don't even believe in past events anymore. I don't believe in the government system, well, I never have...but this backs my point up even more. He's prime at writing books and stuff.

Also, 30 hour famine coming up soon! Well, by soon I mean a month, but regardless of that-- it's STILL sweet. I"m stoked, we have some legit stuff planed this time around. And by some legit stuff, I mean events that may or may not lead to serious injury. Rollerblade jousting, I think so.

I haven't blogged in...well...I can't see the amount of days since I last blogged, but you totally can. So in ____ odd amount of days. I keep telling myself that I'm going to keep doing more frequently, but honestly, I have WAY better stuff to do hahaha.

Anyways, ON WAR TO PHYSICS! HIGH HO!

The abomasum is clearly the suerior organ

2009-04-09T21:34:00.000-07:00

I learned in Physics the other day that our appendix, as the doctors seem to have discovered, is the remnants of a Rumen. Like, the cow stomach. That would be SO sick. We could digest raw hay at a whim. If I was hungry, I could eat grass. That would be awesome! And nourishing! That's like a super combo! I wonder what other odd organs we used to have? Does this mean we descended from cows and not monkeys? Are cows capable of sentient thought? Why did we get the crappy Rumen, and not the clearly better sounding abomasum? Who knows? These are lifes questions that arn't going to be answered because they're hard to answer, but because no one really cares enough about a cows stomach to research it. Except those weirdos in Montreal.

On an even lighter note than odd scientific discovery(Which is always ever so light), I bought Andrew Birds new CD today. Super sick. The way I found it was so weird. It was at Starbucks of all places. Like, none of the music stores had any of them. I was going to resort to online, and paying the hefty express shipping. I was actually going to do this right now, when I got home from work. So I guess you could say that it totally changed my outlook on the day, because I was not a happy camper before I got that CD. Working to Midnight at Zellers isn't my idea of the start of a long weekend. I would likely be writing some really bitter comment about how I'm not going to get to see Harry Manx at the end of the summer, or how I'm really thirsty. Or about how I hate customers. But, I'm not...as odd as it is.

I'm gonna go blast Andrew Bird and paint until I fall unconcious is my basement.

If I had the oppertunity, I would punch Ronald McDonald in the mouth

2009-03-31T15:21:00.000-07:00

I've come to the conclusion that I'd rather drink paint than eat at McDonalds again. It's not even that appealing. I don't know why people eat there. It must be for the shock value, because it's so retardedly disgusting. Did you know that their chicken nuggets are only 45% chicken. A McDonalds rep says this in a quote on an internet interview I read, and he was quite proud of it. I don't know about you, but my chicken nuggets are usually 100% chicken...well...tofu....but you get my point. They admitted that one of the ingredients in the veggie oil that they use is lighter fludi. LIGHTER FLUID. And they don't see a problem with it. They admitted willingly that there was Butane in it, and when asked if they knew what it was, they totally did. I was in awe. I've decided that McDonalds doesn't have a plan to make all the children diabetic and then own the insulin market, or kill off all the kids and make an army of cyborgs to repopulate the earth. No, they know exactly what they're doing. They're not in it for the money, because the ingredients they use arn't cheap. They're just really, really, incrediably, stupid.

Like, thats the only thing I could think of that made sense. They must have been the kind of kids that licked the lead paint off the walls. Because I can't even fathom a reason they would be so dumb. Maybe in order to work in head office at McDonalds, you have to be from atleast 100km from any City/Town, Fail an I.Q test, and have a 3 member family with 15 different relative titles. They must also wear those baseball caps with the drink holders, and each holder has to be filled with pure,unfiltered, mercury. That is the only way I can see this whole franchise making sense, because the idea of it 3/4 retarded.

"Lol yea we hve paint in r burgers, so wut???? LOL!"
-McDonalds CEO, Dr.Rere-henderson-johanson

This has nothing to do with space, bitterness. It's also not lashing out at society.

2009-03-30T19:35:00.000-07:00

Today is a good day. I had Starbucks, and I started a watercolor. Nice day. I've never really done an actual water color before, just lots of fooling around. I think it's going pretty good actually, surprisingly even. Like I've been an acrylic guy since day one, but I'm starting to move on to other mediums. It's getting wack!

I'm working on finding ideas for a new band logo right now. Band plug time. www.myspace.com/pandafarmband. Go there. I can't find any ideas though, I might try my luck in art tomorrow. Hmmmm.

I keep spending all my money, it's really brutal. Like I have no budgeting power at all, thats like my weakness. I'm gonna work on it. Next week, I'm going to save half of my pay. No outlandish expenses. Crap. How am I going to live. Nooooooooooo

Sporatic thought much

2009-03-29T18:33:00.000-07:00

Today, I saw Monsters vs. Aliens. Today, I saw the greatest movie Disney has made in the last 5 years. I was impressed. The characters were gold.

Right now, I am neglecting my Physics lab. Right now, I am the happiest man alive, because I'm not doing physics. Right now, I do not care about magnets.

I didn't work today. It was the epitome of everything I'd want in a day. My first no school/work day in foreverrrr. I'm quite pleased.

I am feeling kind of odd right now. I think I've eaten to much pizza. I ate a lot of pizza this weekend. And cheesy bread.

Why am I writing like that? It's just annoying to read. Like, I can't fathom why I thought it was a good idea. Hmmm, maybe I was a different person back then. All those seconds ago. I'm reading rant, by Chucky P, and it's awesome. I'm only on the 4th chapter, but it's super good. He has such a good outlook on things(behind all the gore and sex). It's not so much a positive outlook on things, but he's not dolling sutff up. He's straight forward, and he knows what people are really like. No Oprah/Dr.Phil crap, I can't stand that. It's total garbage. "Inspirational", in my world, will never be used in the context of a talk show unless mocking or pokeing fun.

I'm super blasting Son House right now. It's awesome, that is good music. It sounds a little funny, but thats because he's playing 50 year old guitar with three remaining original strings on his like deck. That is music. I love blues. I love Son House. I love three string guitars that were considered "vintage" back in the 50's. Death Letter. Good song. Get it.

where do vultures live?

2009-03-25T20:21:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I just finished writing a paper for journalism. We had to write it on a news article that was "strange". I wrote mine on a fourteen year old boy, who pushed over and old lady and stole her cell phone, while walking his abnormally large poodle. The catch was, he was completely naked. Now, most of anyone would think that is an interesting topic. Most of you thought wrong. I honestly would rather watch something lame, like a tv that I forgot to plug in. Or like, garfield with garfield. Once you minus the cat, you never go back

Other than that, this has been a horribly unproductive day. I'm trying to book this prime band from boston, they're called "Spiritual Rez" and they are so good I almost refuse to believe that my band might actually play with them. I'm just waiting on they're price and then we got em' baby!

Also, I'd like to mention how much I'm liking this late 80's early 90's fashion comeback. Like, I wore supe violent shades of color anyways. Somedays I'm almost difficult to look at, which normally would be a totally left wing kind of garb, but I'm like conforming for some odd reason. Freaks me out really. No idea whats going on. One thing that makes me mad though, is that even though the 90's have merged with the modern styles and looks, people are STILL wearing those stupid, flat billed, shiney useless sticker that they can't remove for some odd reason, hats. I hate those hats. Don't wear them. You look like a moron

That last hat comment just like brought up some weird inner uprising. Like, I feel so bitter towards society right now for creating such a hat. What a waste. And they're like 50$. I'd feel retarded if I bought one. I think I'm just turning bitter. It's getting to much, I'm complaining a lot lately, and I usually don't. I don't think. New topic

I've started doing his thing where I don't proof read anything I write, because it's way more legit that way. Like if I spell something wrong, I could have totally meant to do that, and there could be a way deeper meaning. There clearly isn't, but the reader doesn't know that, baby! I also think it makes someone sound super lame, because if I can't type. Or make a sentence, I don't think I should toil on this blog thing for eons trying to make sure my diction is top notch, and my spelling is perfect. Because that ain't me baby, that ain't me

I'm going to go watch Samurai Jack now. I may or may not blog tomorrow

(P.S- the name of this blog is irrelevant. I just hit my CTRL+V and thats what was in there. Don't ask questions. I don't have answers)

Avast ye swarbs. There be ninjas here.

2009-03-23T20:01:00.000-07:00

I just watched a grown man jump kick a woman in the face. It was like watching a symbolic version of everything I find amusing...except there were no googly eyes. With that in mind, I've decided to go to prom as a pirate, if I go at all. I don't really see the point in going, especially if I'm going as a pirate. Like, prom is no place for a grimy, swashbuckling, vagrant! I should be pilfering, and stealing the women and children to be slaves on my ship...which I appear to have forgotten the whereabouts too.

I am but a shipless pirate. Wait...what am I talking about. I'm getting into character way to early in the game. But, regardless of that. My colds gone, I'm stoked, and I need to watch Samurai Jack right now. On the fourth season babyyy! Four seasons is a lot for a tv show that isn't Friends or Stargate, both of which I detest, because they were on for just-tooooo-long. I used so many "o"s in that last "tooooo" because I wasn't exactly sure how many I was supposed to use to be grammatically correct. Anyways, I'm listening to Kings of Leon. They're good. So's samurai jack. Going to go watch it. Way better than doing this. Later

My ears arn't working at the moment

2009-03-11T06:37:00.001-07:00

I've been home sick from school all week. I neverrrr miss school. I'm unimpressed. Today I got the energy to get up, so I figured I'd hit up the bloggy blog.

I caught a cold in Europe, and with all the no sleep on the flight home it mutated into this unworldly lung/ear infection. It's not nice, and I can't hear or see well. I don't like it one bit, not oneee bit I tell you. Although I've been sleeping a lot which is nice, I went to bed as soon as I got home and slept for 21 consecutive hours. Woke up, got some food, and went back to bed for another 23, except these 23 we're broken up by slight movements/coughing fits/dehydrated water journs/etc..

I'm trying to stay up for a little bit today. I'm gonna go video game in a mintue, I need some brain stimulation. That'd be good good. Because right now, I feel like toothpaste tube leftovers, prior to the invention of the EZ squeeze, of course. We'll, I'm feeling nauseaus, so I'm going back to bed. Wooo I've been up for 3 hours. NEW RECORD

2009-02-20T19:21:00.001-08:00

I was painting the other night, and the weirdest thing happened. I just wrote "Drink glue, dog liker" on the back of it, I can't remember why, or when I did it. I don't remember doing it at all actually. But it's in my handwriting. This is a strange conundrum indeed.

On a lighter note, I just ate macaroni and it was delicious. Made it myself, oh what you can do with some basil and a little bit of balsamic. Panda Farm's heading into the studio tomorrow. Thank God. Stoked. Can't wait.

I'm getting S-L-A-C-K

2009-02-04T08:16:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted in like two weeks. My blog must be very unhealthy, it's just been sitting in limbo for like weeks. No food or nothing. I'm gonna save this bad boy.

So, I don't even know what to talk about. It's another snow day, Thank God. It's glorious, I would love nothing more for it to snow so hard every day that the school just didn't exist and they let me graduate now. Because this is retarded, I've done it for 13 years. I don't think the last few months should count. I just sneezed right hard.

Driving home last night was an experience, we literally couldn't see anything at all. If we turned on the high beams it looked like we were going into "Hyper space"(as Joel says) with all the snow in front of us. I felt like I was driving in a tunnel, but we were on the highway! It was crazy, going to Quispam last night was a BAD idea hahaha. I don't know what I'm going to do today.
I think I have to go to the Dentist, which I'm really not impressed about. I think we should be able to sign a form when were like 15, and totally opt the dentist out of life, unless we like bust out face or something. Which I can't see happening in the near future.

I'm quite pleased with myself

2009-01-20T16:30:00.000-08:00

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING POST CONTAINS (1) DEVIOUS PLOT

Oh golly gosh blog, it's been a while. Since I could, Hold my head up highhh... Thats enough Staind for today. Weird.

Anyways, I've been particularly busy with all this stuff I've been doing, like: Sitting, Laying down, staring...That's about it. I'm joking obviously, but what made me busy is of absolutely no interest to anyone at all, just business stuff. So it's exam week in lame ol' highscool, not much is different than last year. Except th God given privledge of exemptions. Cya later, English! Woo! I've never been so pumped in my life, the first time I've actually been rewarded with not missing any school. Man I sound like a keener. I sleep in class a lot if thats any consolation.

I don't even know what to talk about today. I'm really bored. Like, I never work anymore, school is just irrelevant. Don't wanna talk about it. I pretty much play music all day. YES! Thats it! A TOPIC! Circle round children, circle round...

We had band practise today. It was good. End of story

Golly Gee Whiz am I ever interesting. I need to do my grad write up. I think I've devised such a clever plan. I'm going to pass in a baby photo for the yearbook( I don't know why they have that page it's weird. I normally would never participate in something that lame, but my plan is too beautiful to go undone) but the photo I'm going to pass in, is not going to be a photo of myself. I'm gonna pass in a baby picture, that is clearly not myself, so I can always look back and say "Thats totally not me lol". It was the best plan I've ever thought of in my entire life. I may even go as far as to photoshop something dumb in the background, or on my face. Like an unsightly mole. Ohh how dastardly.

New...year? WUT?

2009-01-02T08:21:00.000-08:00

I think I have an addiction. In the last 4 days I've watched 29 hours of Heroes. That's over 1/4 of my time. If you factor in sleeping, I don't have much time to do anything else. This isn't good, so I've devised a solution to my woes. I'm going to double the amount of Heroes I'm watching, so I can finish the seasons faster. It's a genius idea if you ask me.

Also, we're doing another band in the studio as of yesterday, and it's turning out quite well. I'll post the results when we're done a song or two. The bands pretty easy to work with too, it's blissful really. They're very responsive to a "Stop playing now" or a "You're a little off time" It's quite nice. I didn't use any punctuation there because I couldn't remember how to use it with quotations, and I made this sentence after it so I could look a little more like an idiot than I already would have hadn't I made it.

Wow, I forgot to post this. So four days later, I've finished season one and two of heroes. Man, I'm a champ. We finished a new song for a band in the studios, check it out on the myspace bay-beeeeee www.myspace.com/swaggerstudio

Thats all I have for now, it's been pretty uneventful around here. Except for that one time, when I watched heroes for every waking second. God, that was sweet.

Luggage weirdos

2008-12-27T17:29:00.001-08:00

Hot dang! It's been a while since I've posted. Ti's the season after all. I've been very busy you know, my family's very holiday active. So now that I've got all this seasonal cheer out of my system over the last five days, I'd like to complain about work.

Today is the busiest day known to man, boxing day sale day. Does anyone know why it's called boxing day? Because back in '67, Wal-Mart had some Cheetos on sale for zero dollars, and two fulls grown men got in a boxing match with some orphans over it. Long story short, after the lawsuit, Orphanages were Abolished and Poverty made it's way into America. I made that up entirely, but please, quote me.

So anyways, I get this guy at work today. I literally could not believe this. He is holding an Ethernet port beside his face, the box says "ETHERNET PORT" in big, like six forty two font big, white letters. He then, thinks it's a good idea to point at the box and go "Hey buddy! This here thing an Ethernet port?" "Why yes it is the box says so, right here sir" I replied. What a tech savvy gentleman he was. It doesn't make sense to me why he was looking for anything computer related. He must mine sweeper, because he sure can't read. That grinds my gears. I think you should have to pass a test to come into the electronics department at Zellers. Otherwise we get those weirdos drifting in from luggage. The test would be simple, all you'd have to do is count to three, touch your head and rub your stomach, and, for the final test, spell your own name. That would decrease the number of customers significantly. Man I'm a genius

Golden Grove road isn't that long, son

2008-12-22T06:18:00.001-08:00

Today marks the day of the biggest snow storm in history...Not really, but I like to imagine. It is pretty bad though, I feel like I'm in Newfoundland. My lawn is up to my knees, I wouldn't even call it a lawn anymore, It's like a tundra minus the Ice. I'd make a clever word for it, but I don't really see how I could. Hmmmm. Nope, nothin'

Anyways, it's story time. The gang and I were heading off to the Irving for the first session of the new midnight breakfast ritual. So we get there, and everyone orders the Trucker breakfast (Except me, way to much meat for the vegetarian). The breakfast consists of 6 pieces of toast, 3 slices of ham, 4 bacon slices, 2 breakfast sausages, like half a plate of home fries, 3 eggs cooked however you want and a pancake. I got the French toast, because I'm cool like that. I don't even like French Toast, but that's another story. So anyways, I finished early and went and bought this doopie mug with a wolf on it. It was dweebville, but I bought it for the self satisfaction of owning my own mug, which I've yet to do. I laughed really hard when I paid for it, I'm pretty sure the cashier thought I was intoxicated. Anyways, upon returning to my seat, everyone but Jordan had finished the breakfast. So Jordan got it to go, and we left. Now here's where it gets good.

Getting on the highway, we were talking and trying to buckle our seat belts at the same time. The seating arrangement from left to right was Jordan Twinkee and then me,. So Jordan, not thinking stuffs his hands and his seat belt buckle down Twinks pants instead of in the clip thing. Twinkee then exclaims "DUDE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!".
Jordan responds with a "Lol WUT?"
"Dude! You put your hands in my pants"
"AW SICK!?! HOW DID I! LOLOLOLOLOL"
They both laughed uncontrollably.
Then, at the last minute, Twinkee goes "Quinn dude! Roll down your window!
and I was like"...OK"

Twinkee fired his face out my window and puked all over the place, it was gold. I've never laughed at anything so hard in my life. Except the event that followed. He was looking back in, and going "Man that was sick" or something akin to that, and the highway wind blew his hat out the window! And he goes "MAN MY HAT!". That, was the hardest I'd laughed ever. Well, second time possibly. I was practicing different accent with my friend at work once, that was probably the hardest. Which is a really inappropriate place to laughed that hard. Man, I gotta get my priorities straight.

Will Smith is no longer my hero

2008-12-19T20:11:00.000-08:00

OK. So I just got back from Seven Pounds, the new Will Smith movie. I have no idea how to feel about myself right now. I went in, in angst of a mind-bender, or something that would make me go "Oh dude no way!" But instead I got a heaping pile of human doubt. Like I don't know how I should feel. I'm obvs not going to wreck the movie, but heed my warning: Do NOT be fooled by this movies "Mysterious Allure". I thought I was going into a movie that may potentially be action packed, or at least packed with something interesting, like Government conspiracy, or Russians, potentially a plot twist. But no, I get this sappy story of a mans final hours. There was infact one minor plot twist, but I saw it coming.

On a lighter note, today was the last day of school. I'm overjoyed. I bought a Hawksley Workman CD. I'm overjoyed. We made this sweet Cannelloni for supper (we being Jordan, Twinkee, Jeff and I), it was all Veggie, of course, and it was super Delicious. Reasonably priced too, couldn't beat it. But we sureeee could eat it. BUH-DUM-CHA! Yea, I do my own sound effects, so what?

On an even lighter note, Christmas is in 5 days. Wait, FIVE DAYS?! I'm not done shopping yet. This is bad news. Uh-oh. Looks like tomorrows going to be a busy day. I really don't want to do it, I hate the crowded mall. People are two dumb to realize that when there is over 9000 people in one place, everyone having a cart is a bad idea. Your heels are always getting hit, and walking just becomes so difficult. Plus, all the people who never shop ever are at the mall during Christmas. The one time of the year when EVERYONE is shopping. I don't like that. Especially because they buy from all those immoral corporate monsters. Nothing better than putting a few million bucks in the pocket of the man, and beating a few more Tibetans while were at it! Good job Society, looks like getting those pre-stretched jeans really paid off!

Wait a minute, what?

2008-12-18T20:29:00.000-08:00

Christmas break is finally here. I have to go to school for one period, to write a big, dumb, stupid, math test. Then I'm gone, until January 9th. This is the best news I've had in a long time. Only one semester and change left until university. Oh Golly.

Anyways, I haven't worked for two days, so I don't really have anything interesting to say about that. Although, I do have some interesting things to say about today at school. The number one being Twinkee's face getting super ground by Jordan's crotch. Don't ask questions, it just happened OK. It was in a theater arts skit, and it went really wrong, really fast. It ended up with Fitzy's feet on the arms of Twinkee's chair, and his junk all up in twinks face. Jordan was also wearing a dress for some reason. What a weird day.

After school I went uptown, and sadly, arrived after the Korean place was closed. So with my foodly hopes crushed, I decided to go to Jeremiahs. Good ol' Jeremiahs, hasn't let me down yet. Until now. I ordered one of their two soups today. I ordered the Tomato, and they also had Chicken(Gross meat). So after receiving my order and sitting at my table, I anxiously opened the soup, and what do I see, chicken chunks. "Hmm, that's strange, there isn't usually chicken in my tomato soup" I said, unsuspectingly to myself. So I went in for further investigation. Upon moving a noodle, which shouldn't be in my tomato soup either, I came across a carrot slice. A carrot slice?! In my Tomato soup! That's not even logical. So I gave it to Adam and went on my, completely disgruntled, way. I went to Taco Pica after that and got a Veggie Chimichunga, it was pimp. With my spirits brightened, by the unfailing Mexicans and there delicious application of the zucchini, I did some Christmas shopping. Not done yet though, but it's a start.

I'm going to bed now, I hope I dream of punching that woman from Jeremiahs in the mouth. Then having her come into a fake dream restaurant I worked at, and have her order a fake dream order that I couldn't possibly get wrong, so I can screw it up on purpose.

Lolrus is king

2008-12-17T16:16:00.000-08:00

The lolrus is the single greatest thing ever made by man. Screw sliced bread, lolrus doesn't even require slicing. He is the epitome of everything I see as a role model.

See how caring he is

He is also a great leader

He is even wise and noble

lolrus is king win.

On another, slightly smaller note. I got my snow day. When I heard the news my face almost exploded out the back of my head. It was a half day, but it's at least 50% better than a full day. I was so overjoyed. I sat at home and wasted 5 hours doing absolutely nothing. The ideal school day. I didn't even work. This just may be the best-day-ever! I'm gonna go blast Radiohead and stare at my ceiling, because I don't have any homework, and I can.

BENCH. Girl

2008-12-16T20:44:00.000-08:00

Ok, so here my thoughts for the day. First of all, why in Gods name is Zellers open until 11? Like my Jesus. I literally sat there and did absolutely nothing, for two hours of my life. I have better things to do. In those two hours, I could have baked a lasagna, or watched my toe nails grow an eight of a centimeter. Also, I had this customer today. I can't even describe my loathing for this woman. Well, that's going a little far, but she did make me quite mad. She comes up to my counter, while I'm clearly closing, and stands there talking to her friend on the phone until 11:05. Five minutes after we've officially closed, and THEN she decides its time to pay. My question is, why does she get to decide when she gets to pay? After store hours I can guarantee you the customer isn't always right. If it's 11:01 and I don't feel like serving her, I shouldn't have to. And if she persists, I should be allowed to punch her in the face. End of story.

Ok, so another thing I noticed about this Woman. She had a jacket on that said "BENCH." in big letters on the wrong side of the collar. First of all, who in Gods name pops the collar on a Jacket? You look like a douche bag, end of story. Second of all, whats "BENCH.", why is it all in caps, who decided Bench was a sentence? I don't know the answers to any of these questions, all I know is I hate that jacket. The thing that makes me mad the most, is how the person who thought up this brand is loaded. Why didn't I do that? All they did was write BENCH. on a shirt. I might vomit right now. How does that even make sense? A little boy in India, who eats twice a week, can weave a carpet with his bare hands (bear hands), big deal. But God forbid someone writing a noun on a shirt.

Society is getting worse and worse by the second. And it's all because of bench. I might call up Websters, pay them a huge sum of cash, and get them to switch the definition of Bench and douche bag. That'll fix em'....They can read right?

I'm not quite following. Pirates do what?

2008-12-13T20:21:00.000-08:00

Hey there, me again. After a long night of track editing, and not enough sleep, I've decided it's time to blog. I would tell you some work story that has no relevance to anything I would ever want to talk about ever, but I'm going to pass this time. Work doesn't exist to me anymore, it's my day off. Don't wanna talk about it. There is no work.

On a more inquisitive note, I watched Fight Club the other day. It was a lovely movie, with quite the twist at the end I must say. Although, I don't quite understand the movie in it's entirety, but I'm sure a few more watches will solve that. Anyways getting to the point, in the movie "The Narrator" that's Edward Norton's character (You never do find out his name, which is terribly annoying, but it does provide a nice sense of mystery, so I'll let it slide) said something akin to "I only come to these meetings because people actually listen to me." To which Marla Singer replies, "Instead of just waiting for their turn to speak." Which seemed very reasonable, I'd never thought about it that way before.

I took the quote to heart and thought about it. Then, the other day I was on the phone with one of my friends, and I realized that I was the same way! I felt terrible about it for the rest of the night. Well, I wouldn't say terrible, but it crossed my mind once or twice. So I'd give it maybe a mediocre amount of caring or maybe something like a 3/10 on the rictor. Actually, I didn't really care all that much. Enough to blog about it I guess. But...regardless of how much I cared, I once again forgot to include myself in Earths demographic. I need to stop doing that pronto. I'm not going to get very far in life if everyone else is a consumer whore and I'm not. So I went out and bought a pair of 75$ ripped jeans and an Abercrombie and Fitch shirt, just to feel better about myself. kidding. I would never do that. I'm shuddering at the thought. I wonder how many people shop at Abercrombie and Fitch each year? I bet their revenue is lager than Saint Johns. That's gross. I hate corporations.

To a system of capitalist politicians, false face of a greater power: It's Americas turn to bring the Cheetos

2008-12-12T19:11:00.001-08:00

I just got off work. I don't want to talk about it. But I more than likely will. It sucked. End of story. It was so terrible that I'm forced to talk in these really short sentences. Angry ones.

So, getting to the point. Every single living person on this planet wants Home Alone one for some reason. Do you know how little copies of Home Alone one exist? Exactly. I don't understand it, what would posses a person to want that movie. It's not even that good. I blame the American Christmas and the Corporations. The only reason anyone wants to watch Home Alone is because they're in "The Christmas Spirit!", which I guess means they need to go spend $13.97 on a DVD they'll watch once. Alone.

What is the Christmas Spirit exactly? I know it's kind of cliched for me to be talking about this, but I think I've just had a revelation. Prior to writing this, I didn't really think about it at all. I think the Christmas spirit is a race. That's what it is, it's just a typo! It's really The Christmas Sprint! The whole world gathers together and races to get "The hot items of the year"; Trophies in the shape of novelty goods! The race starts December 26th, and ends December 25th the next year, but some people are slow starting, and they wait until the last second. The prize is the best part though. Every trophy you get makes you eligible for these wonderful prizes! I've worked it out in this nifty price chart, and remember; The more money you spend, the better prize you get!

$1-$10 A "Thanks"
$10-$50 An "Oh you shouldn't have"
$50-$100 An "Oh Awesome!"
$100+ A maximum 20 minute session of fallacious adoration from your child.

Warning: The Christmas Sprint may result in death, minor injury, road rage, gang violence, headache, congestion, nausea, insomnia, inflammation of the brain, intestinal disorders, heart burn, stroke, nervous break down, and trampling.

First of all, I'd like to say I've never done this before. Second of all, I'd like to thank my family and friends

2008-12-11T20:34:00.000-08:00

Well, this is really strange. I'm writing, and there is potentially no one there. Hmmm, it's interesting really, maybe I'll be a new internet sensation. Just kidding though, this isn't Youtube. Youtube was not in my Firefox spell check. I can't believe this. I refuse to believe this. New topic

So I suppose I'm supposed to write about my day right? Well, I guess I could start like this:

It was a cold dreary morning in Saint John. The horizon was barely visible due to overcast, the geese still haven't migrated yet. And its NOT a snow day. This is the third alleged snow day I've been stripped of this week. It's pretty sweet. Psyche! Oh man that brings me back to the childhood. Anyways, back to my snow deprivation. I'm very distraught. I was relying on that snow day to catch up on my seemingly unending to-do list. I don't want to talk about this right now, it's depressing.

So, I destroyed this customer at work today. Totally decimated her. It was the ideal situation, for an over tired, bitter, callous version of myself, of course. I had double scanned her coffee by accident, and after apologizing, told her to go to the customer service desk because the chances of a supervisor heading my way (The opposite end of the store a supervisor should be at during Christmas) was slim to none. She did not like this. In some kind of weird protest, and demonstration of her rights as a human being, she stood there. And stood there. And stood. For well over a half an hour. I was not impressed at this point. She insisted that I call my manager, so I did. And he came. And when she voiced her concern he said, and I quote, "Nope, can't help ya" then proceeded to walk away, with enough smugness to put her in her place, but not look out of line. It was genius, I couldn't believe it. Work was on a constant incline from that point. I love my job.

I'm pretty tired right now, I think I may just sleep. I've gotten into the part of my consciousness where I can't tell if I'm really thinking or just thinking with a few lobes, while the rest of them and the frontal cortex are realizing they've had to much endorphins for the day and are getting the sleep they deserve. I usually negate any thought I have at this point the next day, because they don't make sense. One time I stayed up for some reason or another, and I tried to think of two things at once. My choice of words was egg and toast, a very poor choice when I think about it now, because all I could think about was breakfast.

I'm starting to sound dumb, this is my cue for leave. Catch you on the flip side... Is it weird to say that if I'm addressing no one in particular? I'm gonna roll with it.