To a system of capitalist politicians, false face of a greater power: It's Americas turn to bring the Cheetos

I just got off work. I don't want to talk about it. But I more than likely will. It sucked. End of story. It was so terrible that I'm forced to talk in these really short sentences. Angry ones.

So, getting to the point. Every single living person on this planet wants Home Alone one for some reason. Do you know how little copies of Home Alone one exist? Exactly. I don't understand it, what would posses a person to want that movie. It's not even that good. I blame the American Christmas and the Corporations. The only reason anyone wants to watch Home Alone is because they're in "The Christmas Spirit!", which I guess means they need to go spend $13.97 on a DVD they'll watch once. Alone.

What is the Christmas Spirit exactly? I know it's kind of cliched for me to be talking about this, but I think I've just had a revelation. Prior to writing this, I didn't really think about it at all. I think the Christmas spirit is a race. That's what it is, it's just a typo! It's really The Christmas Sprint! The whole world gathers together and races to get "The hot items of the year"; Trophies in the shape of novelty goods! The race starts December 26th, and ends December 25th the next year, but some people are slow starting, and they wait until the last second. The prize is the best part though. Every trophy you get makes you eligible for these wonderful prizes! I've worked it out in this nifty price chart, and remember; The more money you spend, the better prize you get!

1. $1-$10 A "Thanks"
2. $10-$50 An "Oh you shouldn't have"
3. $50-$100 An "Oh Awesome!"
4. $100+ A maximum 20 minute session of fallacious adoration from your child.
   
   
   Warning: The Christmas Sprint may result in death, minor injury, road rage, gang violence, headache, congestion, nausea, insomnia, inflammation of the brain, intestinal disorders, heart burn, stroke, nervous break down, and trampling.